A Vacation From Ourselves

Last November I went on a family vacation.
Family vacations are strange. There’s too many masks to wear at times.
There’s your Yourself mask, that you wear alone. 
This is you at your most ridiculous, most vulnerable, most raw and weird. For this mask, I got my hair twisted

, my nails done (never again, by the way),

and my classes completely abandoned and forgotten about- still passed with flying colors though!

There’s your Mom mask, your Dad mask, and your Sibling mask that you wear whenever these folks are around.
Things get complicated when you have a Grandparent mask or have to wear a Sibling and Dad mask at the same time. You might slip up call your sister a name that you wouldn’t say around your father. Your sibling might say something about you that your Grandmother might not know (did she really need to know about my piercings?). So on and so forth until your brain is dizzy and you need a vacation from the vacation!
Vacations are always fun, however, no matter what gets thrown at them. You’re basically put in a place that you aren’t normally, and under the premise that you’re supposed to be having fun. It’s a lot of pressure, but you know what you’re there for, so you work towards having fun.
So among the chaos of family, tourists attractions, and timeshare hawkers, what do you do?

First, you get the Uber app on your phone and try to figure out where you wanna go.
Uber is something my parents advised against. “Where’s the accountability?” “Where’s the customer service?” “How do you know you’re not getting kidnapped?”
Their concerns were validated when, after getting an Uber to the outlet shopping center, we realized our ride back was double-booked by a driver with two different names.

Secondly, you make your plans and stick with them. You’re on your own at this point, you better make the most out of it. If you wanted some food on International Drive, you better get it.
(Make sure your language skills are still there, as I’m sure I was virtually unintelligible to the people I spoke in Portuguese with, desculpa.)

Still got the food I wanted, I can still read cardápios (menus).

Secondly, you take lots of selfies and chronicle how your family is so exhausting.

 “I wonder if my future cat’s family is this crazy?”
 “Will we ever make it to the food and wine festival?”
“Did my grandma just find my thongs in the laundry?”

You go drinking with your mother and sister, and try hard not to turn up at the family function.

You then try and get your mother to work on her selfie skills.

Take one.
Take two. I kinda Kim Kardashian-ed it. I didn’t warn her.

Nailed it!
You sneak pics of your father and sister being exactly alike in their grumpy and not-so-grump ways.

When she realized he ruined her pics.
You play mini golf and keep your growing rage inside when you realize how terrible you are at it.

My sis wasn’t much better, don’t let her tell you any different.
Among the many things you do for love, you grin and bear it when in fact, you don’t get to go to the food and wine festival, but instead, Mickey Mouse’s Christmas celebration.

The castle looked pretty great though.

Next thing you know, you’re in the airport and its over. You’re left wondering if you really appreciated your family enough and if you really got to enjoy your time with them. It’s a weird feeling knowing that you’re an adult among your family, and there is responsibility in that, but it doesn’t have to feel like a burden. They’re your family, yours. What you do with that knowledge is up to you.
I choose to remain as childlike and infantile as possible in the hopes that they never make me have to get my own car, apartment, phone bill, groceries and whatever else I need.
It was hard enough making a dentist appointment on my own.

I’ll be back with a New Year’s Eve post detailing what’s next for the blog, complete with thank you notes, a top ten, and wahtever else my mind comes up with. See you then. Have a Happy Holiday!



You May Also Like

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *